15 tiers of dating
Believe it or not, grief and intimacy mirror one another—the intensity, the dullness, the gains, and the loss. Infatuation"OMG, I just met the love of my life.""He is perfect.
We've all heard of the five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
But all those lovely feelings are that of a first swim in the cool, crisp pond of falling in love. Then the negotiation between security and autonomy, that life-long struggle, crawls in and we begin to land. Burying This stage happens when all the to-do lists of life come toppling into the relationship.along the lines of, "The day you wake up and say you have married the wrong person is the day that your marriage truly begins." It means that this is the day where the veil of infatuation lifts and the 20/20 vision of everyday living comes in."Wow, she is neurotic.""OMG, he tells the worst jokes.""I didn't think about him at all yesterday. Before you know it, conversations focus on things like who's doing the laundry, your boss, or the crazy mother-in-law.I hope we are OK."The landing can feel light and sweet, or rocky and discombobulating. During the burying stage, other things—like, oh, life—begin to encroach on your beautiful oasis of a relationship.But eventually, the clock strikes midnight and Cinderella must run home before the stage coach becomes a pumpkin and her dress returns to rags. Burying is not always bad; it's a sign that the relationship is real and weaves into your everyday existence.
The important thing to remember here is to "unbury" yourselves.
Take tango lessons, go relive your first date, go have sex in public, buy some sex toys, tie yourselves to bedposts, or grab the whips.