Dating cheating man
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months, though he has been a friend of mine for 12 years. They make him meals, check up on him to see if he has packed a lunch for work, make his bed and clean his room.He is intelligent, well-read, funny and very sweet. I feel like he is a bit of a man-child, for lack of better words. They recently bought him expensive new work boots because, not because he couldn’t afford it, but becauseuntil school is done. He hates conflict, so whenever anything comes up that is important, he shuts down. This is for the reason that he is in university, and his parents want him to “graduate without student debt”. This isn’t because he needs his money to pay off school: they arepaying for his education in full as well.He works, but only has to pay for his car and phone. I feel I amalways the one to initiate apologies, conflict solutions, and conversation in general.I feel like I am the one carrying the emotional workload, and constantly having to explain the “real world” to him, because he is so sheltered.I need him to step up emotionally,and for him to learn how to continue growing as an adult while under his parents roof.I don’t know how to bring this up without upsetting his parents (he tells them everything I say) and hurting his very sensitive feelings.
That said, I believe you that this specific guy displays some signs of immaturity that make him wrong for you, for example: “always the one to initiate apologies, conflict solutions, and conversation in general.
What if I told you that if your large adult boyfriend truly wanted his living/working/footwear/conflict resolution situation to be different, it would be?
What if I told you that if the way he handles finances/parental relationships/conflict/bedmaking/lunchpacking/emotional labor/understanding the world hasn’t changed in the 12 years y’all have been friends, it is extremely unlikely that it will change now?
If you knew those things, would you stay, and have a series of difficult and frustrating talks that hurt his feelings, frustrate the fuck out of you, and change literally nothing?
Would you decide to accept and enjoy the situation as it is now?
Where his sweetness and breadth of reading and sense of humor are enough to counteract the fact he doesn’t change anything about the way he approaches conflicts or challenges?